February 16, 2001

Mailing address: Stephen Pape 204 Cripple Creek Glenn Heights, TX 75154

Email: Speak to me.

Scroll Down for the New Fictional Story about a Town called Council Heights-Part 1.

Link to Fictional Council Heights-Part 2

HUMOR DISCLAIMER

The following article is uh uh...fictional. It is meant to be funny because everyone knows that the stuff depicted would not really occur in any town in which sane people reside. It is intended to be humerous and it is recommended that anyone without the capacity to enjoy humor not read the article. Any similarity between characters within the article to people you know is solely a coincidence. However, if anyone feels that the actions depicted are too close to being truthful (and with a few minor changes could be exactly as something has happened), all that person needs to do is email me describing what really happened and I will be happy to change my fictional story to not reflect the real life event so closely. I reserve the right to print the real life event in the non fictional portion of this web site so be careful what you send me.

Article One

It was a cool dreary day in Council Heights and not much was going on of much importance. In fact, this was not unusual at all because not much had gone on in years. The garbage truck had just left the Twin Developmentplan Housing Project and there was one person whose garbage had not gotten to the curb in time. Harriet Busybody knew her garbage pick up service had already come, and gone, but she also knew she had a secret weapon on which to call. Harriet dropped her bags at the curb and began screaming Super Councilman, Super Councilman, I need you!

To Harriet's delight, immediately speeding around the corner came a foreign made auto contraption and out jumped Super Councilman shouting "I'm able to stop major housing additions with one vote, I'm able to stop laziness of City Workers, I single handedly protect the citizens from evil businessmen, from big churches, from over crowded schools. I'm Suuuuuper Councilman to the rescue. It may upset other interests but I only care for what is best for the uh uh …citizens."

Harriet always loved Super Councilman's entry and she often called just so she could have the warm fuzzy feeling of knowing that Super Councilman is waiting and ready to respond. This brought special comfort to Harriet and all her friends especially since Council Heights no longer had police and fire protection. But who really needs that type of stuff when you have a super hero in your midst.

Harriet quickly explained how the evil corporate run garbage company owners had intentionally forced their employees to come early and had refused to allow them to wait for Harriet to bring her trash to the curb. She wondered with Super Councilman why these money grubbing owners did not allow their employees to come to her door and ask for the trash when they saw that hers was not out. "Did they really think I didn't have any", she asked. Super Councilman said, "It sounds like we need another law because we all know that these evil business owners won't do anything unless we comrades make them do it." Harriet knew that the issue would be on the next Council Heights Agenda but she had a more immediate problem. What could be done about her trash today. But she should not have worried because Super Councilman quickly told her to simply take her trash and dump it in a dumpster of one of the evil businesses to get them back. As Super Councilman slithered away, Harriet screamed "Thank You Super Councilman, I just couldn't get along without you."

Meanwhile on the other end of Council Heights, Sarah Hampsteader had just opened her utility bill and was dismayed to find it was more than she could afford. She lived in a regular brick house and even had a brick fireplace. She was not one of those poor folk with only one bathroom but rather, she had two and a half baths and even had a side entry garage entrance. "Oh Super Councilman, Super Councilman, I need you," Sarah cried. Within seconds, speeding around the corner came a foreign made auto contraption and out jumped Super Councilman shouting "I'm able to stop major housing additions with one vote, I'm able to stop laziness of City Workers, I single handedly protect the citizens from evil businessmen, from big churches, from over crowded schools. I'm Suuuuuper Councilman to the rescue. It may upset other interests but I only care for what is best for the uh uh …citizens."

Sarah, like Harriet, was comforted to hear Super Councilman's rally cry as he slithered in to the rescue but Harriet thought even Super Councilman would be hard pressed to help with her special need. Would he actually give some of his money to help pay the bill? He never had given of his own proceeds before but possibly this could be a first. Sarah's concern was quickly taken away when Super Councilman deduced, "It sounds like we need another law because we all know that those sluggard renters and the evil owners of the property that is rented will never carry their full load unless we devise a plan to charge them more for their utilities and to lower the cost for the upstanding uh uh …citizens such as Ms. Hampsteader." Sarah knew that the issue would be on the next Council Heights Agenda and she pledged her unconditional support because she had faith that with Super Councilman's assistance her utility bill would never be as high again. As Super Councilman slithered away, Sarah screamed Thank You Super Councilman, I just couldn't get along without you.

It was quite around town, there were no fires, no calls for medical help, no distress of any importance at all, so Super Councilman decided to drop in on City Hall to see that everything was running according to the plan he had set forth. Within seconds at City Hall, speeding around the corner came a foreign made auto contraption and out jumped Super Councilman shouting "I'm able to stop major housing additions with one vote, I'm able to stop laziness of City Workers, I single handedly protect the citizens from evil businessmen, from big churches, from over crowded schools. I'm Suuuuuper Councilman to the rescue. It may upset other interests but I only care for what is best for the uh uh….citizens."

It was at that point that Super Councilman realized that all twelve of the parking spaces were taken and he quickly deduced, using his superior reasoning powers, that he would have to create a special place for himself to park. Why not park crosswise behind staff's cars? After all, no one would dare try to leave because Super Councilman might need their services in preparation for the next emergency. He tore into the City Managers office and made his usual announcement (the one about the Suuuuuper Councilman to the rescue) and immediately began laying out the day for his City Manager. He quickly ran down the two additions that were to be added to the next Council agenda and he instructed his City Manager to get to work on these emergencies because the "uh uh ….citizens need to see immediate results."

Super Councilman then raised the issue of lack of parking at City Hall during the day. The City Manager sheepishly and very politely reminded Super Councilman of the Secret Council Heights Town Council's decision that had occurred during the budgeting process in which they had chosen to limit parking at City Hall and to place no parking signs along the roads so that they could raise revenue on Court night by ticketing all the illegally parked cars.

Super Councilman, using his superior reasoning ability, quickly concluded that the no parking signs might have been a mistake because it was affecting innocent law-abiding people such as himself so he asked for a complete review of all the events leading up to the Council's decision for reducing parking along with a tally of the new revenue the parking fines had generated. After all, this might could be blamed on one of the previous administrations that had been run by one of those greedy corporate structured money grubbing machines. Super Councilman realized that laziness had been a tremendous problem throughout the City under previous administrations but he felt compassion on the City Manager and gave him until mid day to complete the exhaustive study. As he slithered from the City Manager's Office, he heard the City Manager scream, "Thank You Super Councilman, I just couldn't get along without you."

Stay tuned for more adventures of Council Height's own Super Councilman as evil corporate interference in City Government is rooted out and exposed and more people are saved from themselves by the superior brain power of Suuuuuper Councilman. Until then, no matter how big the problem, no matter what time of day or night, when you need him most just say " Suuuuuuper Councilman, I need you!"

And he will be there.

Link to Fictional Council Heights-Part 2

Questions or Comments.

If you want to have a good neighbor you must be a good neighbor.

Other articles from Stephen's Desk.